Irish National Pastime
Because this is our second visit to Ireland, we are fortunate. Collette and I have been selected to participate in one of Ireland’s oldest pastimes. No its not fotbol (soccer to you blokes in the States), no its not rugby and no its not cricket. I’m talking about a pastime that the common man participates in and has an equal chance of winning. A sport that has been around since very early 1900 and has unwittingly caught many by surprise. Unknowing souls that have stumbled into the playing field without a clue where they are or how to appropriately play the game. I’m talking about sheep dodging!
Yes fans, sheep dodging is alive and well here in merry ole Ireland, as well it should be, it was invented here! The rules are simple, the game is played like golf with the lowest score winning. Sheep marked with blue are 30 points; sheep marked with red are 25 points. The playing field is any single lane two-way road that has a series of blind curves and lots of traffic. The herder starts the game by turning his sheep loose on the road. These are in usually found in singles, doubles or more often 3-6 sheep teams wondering aimlessly around the road. The two-man team in the car, Collette and I, watch for opportunities to get as close to the sheep as possible without actually hitting them with the car. Points are awarded as follows: bumped but no blood is half the normal points, bumped with a limp resulting is 2/3rd points and a smash into brambles or rock walls is full points. But wait, there’s more. This is only level 1!
Irish roadblock
Tag team blocking
Lone ranger
Level 2 is a bit more challenging. Take the same conditions as level 1, narrow winding road with loads of blind corners and lots of sheep and add in tour busses, tractors and lorries. Now you have a real challenge because that roadway just got smaller, and you thought it was only made for one vehicle! Silly boy!
But you still haven’t seen it all. There is level 3 but only the experts should attempt this level. If you’re a novice, stay out of this playing field, it is costly. We, on the other hand, have mastered all levels. Level 3 takes all the above and adds in pedestrians, both on and off bicycles. The real challenge is to get as close to a biker as possible, take the drivers mirror off a lorrie, push a pedestrian into the bramble while pulling the wool off a blue and red marked sheep. 5 extra points if the biker pisses himself, lose 20 points if you piss yourself.
The playing field
Running block
There you have it. Next time you’re in Ireland check with the rental car agency to see if you can sign up. Scores are kept at most pubs with the winners posted on milk cartons.
As a side note, not sure what to think of these berries that we’ve found all around the house. Pretty soft and have a bit of grassy taste, just funny we find these apparently sprouting right out of the ground. Collette is going to try to make a pie with them so we’ll let you know how it turns out.
Cheers.
UPDATE!
Yes my friends this one isn’t through. The Republic of Ireland has just announced that they are adding another level to the national pastime event. From what I’ve read, this one is a real challenge but those who have successfully conquered Level 3 should not have too much issue.
Level 4
So you’ve heard of surfing, you’ve heard of the Grand Prix well Ireland has combined these two great sports into one. Road surfing! It’s simple enough, you drive your car, any car, and act as if you’re in the Grand Prix. But, and this is the important part, you have to do this when it is raining or pretty much any day in Ireland. They have conditioned the roads so that water will gather at some of the most unsuspecting places (hairpin curves, dips, switchbacks, etc) and even in ruts along straight-aways to give you the experience of surfing while driving 60+ miles and hour. Exhilarating to say the least. And that’s Irish Road Surfing!
One would think that a country such as this that deals with constant, non-stop rain for the 5,000yrs or so would have drainage down to a science. Not so, most roads are rutted or have pools of standing water everywhere and in sufficient enough volume to actually float your wheels. Throw in all the levels above and you’ve got a real driving adventure.